AVID (AntiVirus Is Dead) could also stand for AntiVirus Ineffectiveness Described, which is what this particular AVID posting intends to do; describe the ineffectiveness of Anti-Virus products—especially when compared to the whitelisting products from Savant Protection, AppSense, SecureWave and Bit9. These products are actually effective in stopping viruses because they take a technical approach that works. How innovative!

On July 19, 2001, not so long ago, more than 359,000 computers connected to the Internet were infected by the Code-Red worm in less than 14 hours. How did it happen? Well, the worm simply exploited a buffer-overflow vulnerability in Microsoft’s IIS software and once it gained a foothold in one machine, it scanned the Internet to find other vulnerable machine and infected them too, creating the typical cascade effect of a well-designed worm.

Code-Red was one of the first viruses of its kind to spread so quickly. So quickly in fact that it could infect hundreds of thousands of computers before AV companies even knew that the virus existed. Code Red was not the fastest worm to infest the Internet. That prize goes to the Slammer worm, which exploited a vulnerability in Microsoft SQL Server. Slammer managed to infect about 90 percent of the vulnerable computers in 10 minutes flat. However, Code Red was the first of the Wild West viruses to infect computers at very high speed, demonstrating, if there was ever any need to, that AV technology is a crock. Tall in the saddle and fast on the draw, that’s the Code Red Kid.

It was high noon in Dodge City as the Code Red Kid rode into town. On the sidewalk, by the Five Aces saloon, old timer Restless McGee rocked back and forth in an oak chair. Sitting next to him was Tom Pickens, the town’s only source of music. He carried a guitar in his hands and wore a scar down his left cheek, a prize he won at a late night poker game in Abilene.

The beautiful Melissa Makenice was looking out from the top window of the Five Aces onto the dusty street, as Code Red rode in. She had teeth like San Francisco pearls and a cleavage like a canyon. She studied Code Red with interest as he slipped lightly from the saddle and tied his palamino to the rail.

“There’s trouble brewin’ here,” said Restless McGee to Pickens. “That’s the Code Red Kid. They say he’s meaner than a sackful of hungry rats and faster than lightnin’ in a hurricane.”

In his office, Sherrif Norton McAfee was cleaning his six gun when Restless hurried in to deliver the news. Tall, lean and handsome, Norton looked a lot like Henry Fonda (a long long time before Henry Fonda ever did). His guns had ivory handles with thin notches cut in them for every no good bit of malware that he’d sent off in a coffin to ReBoot Hill.

“Norton”, said Restless, “A stranger just rode into town, and he’s fixin’ to make an appointment with ya’. They call him the Code Red Kid”

“OK Restless, you make yourself scarce while I make myself an introduction”

As Restless hurried back to the Five Aces, Norton strode out from his office. Two ivory six guns sat firmly in their holsters and a sheriff’s badge was shining in the noonday sun. Code Red was stood in the shade, smiling sweetly in the direction of Melissa’s window. When he saw Norton, he turned his face down, fixed his hat to keep the sun from his eyes and walked into the dusty street to meet him.

Pickens struck up a melody and started to sing. The lyrics of “Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling” floated through the air:

“I do not know what fate awaits me

I only know I must be brave

Or die a coward, a craven coward,

Or die a coward in my grave”

As Tom’s song died away, Norton and Code Red stood ten feet apart; face to face and eye to eye. The sun beat down and silence filled the air. You could have cut the air with a Bowie knife and pulled it apart like a pair of curtains.

“We don’t rightly cotton to strangers here” Norton said, “better to just keep moseyin’ right along. There’s another town on down the road. There always is”

“You know sheriff,” Code Red replied, “I’ve only been here a few minutes and it’s already beginin’ to feel like home. Just the kind of place to shake the dust off my boots and catch me a hand of Texas Hold ‘em.”

“This town ain’t no waterin’ hole for a worm like you, Code Red. Get back on your horse and get the hell out of Dodge.”

There was silence for a second, and that’s when it happened. Code Red was suddenly a blur of motion while Norton seemed to move slower than molasses in mid-winter. Two six guns appeared in Code Red’s hands and twelve shots rang out. A bullet sent Norton’s hat flying up in the air, then five more had it dancing around like a demented kite. Another of Code Red’s bullets hit the buckle of Norton’s gun belt and, as it fell to the floor, a few more bullets sent his six guns flying across the street, a bullet hit Norton’s badge and sent it spinning to the ground and Code Red’s final bullet stripped a stud button from Norton’s jeans and they slowly, ever so slowly, fell down around his ankles.

“Hey Sheriff, looks to me like you need an upgrade”, said Code Red as he turned on his heel and slowly walked off in the direction of the Five Aces.

Restless turned to Tom. “I’m thinkin’ we need a new sheriff round here. Maybe we should hire one of them white-listin’ sheriff’s from out East,” he said.

Melissa Makenice stood at the door of the Five Aces aiming a pearly smile at Code Red. It looked very much like she was fixin’ to make nice for him.