Question 5: And should I sell my SUV?
Answer: I’m sorry but it’s too late for that. The value has collapsed so far that you will now have to pay to have someone tow it away. However, here’s an alternative idea. Why not keep chickens in it? Chickens lay eco-friendly eggs and give out much less methane than cows. Normally they’re kept in appalling conditions, so they’ll regard an SUV as something of a bonus in terms of accommodation. Note that you can wind up the SUV’s windows at night and no fox will ever get in.
Question 5a: Is Perrier water sinful?
Answer: That’s such a dumb question that it doesn’t even count as a question. Let’s move on.
Question 6: If I Use Black Google, Will I Save The Planet?
Answer: Admit it, you don’t know what black Google is. It’s this. That’s right, a Google Search page that is black, not white. It would be even more impressive if, when you filled in a Black Google query, the answers appeared white on black – but they don’t. The ecological point is that white is bad and black is good, as regards the associated carbon footprint. In order to be cool, the new Google competitor, Cuil has a black search page – very organic don’t you think.
According to EcoIron, “An all white web page uses about 74 watts to display, while an all black page uses only 59 watts.” So, if Google’s 200 million plus queries per day (and answers) used a black background, it could save 750 Megawatt hours in a year. Black MS Word and Black Outlook would probably make a similar contribution, but they have the disadvantage of not existing. Also you might like to have a smaller screen (a 20 inch uses 38% more electricity than a 17 inch screen) or just an iPhone, or maybe you should just throw your computer away.
Question 7: The Chinese and Indian economies are very large and growing fast causing huge environmental pressures. What can the world do about it?
Answer: One possible solution is to evangelize – and I don’t mean making Al Gore-type videos in Chinese and Urdu. I mean traveling to those emerging economic areas to spread the Mennonite variety of the Anabaptist Christian faith that is followed by the Amish of Pennsylvania. Do that and in no time, the Chinese will reintroduce rickshaws and the bullock cart industry in India will flower again.
The problem with Al Gore type videos is that megawatts of electricity get consumed just watching them, especially if you are watching them in an air conditioned room drinking iced Perrier water.
Another solution would be to make India and China use Black Google.
Question 8: Is it greener to work from home?
Answer: On the plus side you wont be commuting. The average work journey in the US is 12 miles, and each gallon of gas burned emits 25.3 pounds of carbon dioxide (CO2). Imagine you don’t own a gas guzzler but a 25 mpg car. In which case you’re spewing about 25 pounds of CO2 into the air per day (6000 lbs per year) melting glaciers, raising the sea level and killing polar bears. However, if you stay home you’ll be using more air conditioning or heating, the extent of which could easily total as much. Don’t work from home, get a bicycle and work from Starbucks.
(We’d like to thank Starbucks and their very green logo for sponsoring this eco-friendly posting, but they didn’t sponsor it, so we can’t. If an offer to sponsor it doesn’t arrive in the next few days I’m gonna calculate the carbon footprint of a Starbucks cup of coffee and post it here… You’ve been warned Starbucks….)
Question 9: Do we have any chance at all of reversing global warming?
No.
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Green Competition
You may or may not have noticed that there are actually only 9 questions here, despite the claim in the title that there are 10. Which of the following does this signify?
- Like all writers on matters green, I exaggerate.
- Being ecologically responsible I removed one question and answer in order to reduce the carbon footprint of this posting.
- I simply could not think of another question.
Please write your answer on the back of a $10 dollar note and send it to my home address. The first correct answer received will be spent on a hamburger from Poodie’s Hilltop Bar and Grill.
Click here to read further postings on global warming
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A refreshing Green piece, Robin. No doubt you will be burned in effigy worldwide as a consequence, adding further to global warming
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As far as Question 9 is concerned, my own view is that it is sheer arrogance to presume that the human race can seriously influence the Earth’s climate. Relative warming may well be an ongoing issue for some worried people but much more radical climate changes have been experienced historically and will be experienced again in the future. Look at the geology and relax is my perspective – the highest land in Knaresborough was laid down at a time when it was under an ocean, close to the equator .
The Earth is a complex adaptive system and we are but mites on the surface.
Enjoy your burger.
Colin
As regards the extent to which man impacts the earth, the evidence is far more than strong that we made the current problem with little help from the planet. See 5 Green Questions (Hanging In The Air). And in truth we are geology. Those layers of sandstone that ‘geology’ laid down were once crustaceans. The limestone was bone. The coal was trees. Aside from the carbon created by cosmic rays from nitrogen, the carbon dioxide surplus is mainly man.
LOL! My husband will love this!
Robin
just to clarify my previous comment slightly (but importantly) my reference to arrogance is attributed to the generally pontificating (not in the case of your excellent discussion of the issue BTW) arguments that we can significantly influence the climate. On second reading, the curtness of my encouragement to enjoy your burger might also be misconstrued, I genuinely meant you to enjoy your burger because I think we do need to relax somewhat.
Your points above (and in the referenced blog) reflect the uncertainty and complexity of the climatic changes (they may well be climactic too, for the human race, eventually). Too many people think that the Earth is a static object and the status quo ante can be preserved by a few gestures towards “green-ness.” (oops I am pontificating a tad too much)
In this I think we agree entirely. We don’t have a clue how to fix what appears to be broken. We have no idea exactly where the ecological system is heading, but I suspect that the earth knows how to take care of itself in some way – and we can only hope we’re actually part of the status quo ante, not having been part of the status quo a prioiri for very long.
Btw, if you cannot pontificate on a blog where can you pontificate.