Why is it that people try to come to America for a new life and opportunity? Why are you here and talk down our traditions? Just go back and be (un)happy there rather than here.

Lt. Cmdr. Charles E. Madison: You American haters bore me to tears, Ms. Barham (bloor). I’ve dealt with Europeans all my life. I know all about us parvenus from the States who come over here and race around your old Cathedral towns with our cameras and Coca-cola bottles …brawl in your pubs, paw at your women, and act like we own the world. We over-tip, we talk too loud, we think we can buy anything with a Hershey bar. I’ve had Germans and Italians tell me how politically ingenuous we are, and perhaps so. But we haven’t managed a Hitler or a Mussolini yet. I’ve had Frenchmen call me a savage because I only took half an hour for lunch. Hell, Ms. Barham, the only reason the French take two hours for lunch is because the service in their restaurants is lousy. The most tedious lot are you British. We crass Americans didn’t introduce war into your little island. This war, Ms. Barham (bloor) to which we Americans are so insensitive, is the result of 2,000 years of European greed, barbarism, superstition, and stupidity. Don’t blame it on our Coca-cola bottles. Europe was a growing brothel long before we came to town.

As far as Canadian Thanksgiving goes, they just stole the holiday from us. Even if they did place it at a more sensible time on the calendar.